Ask Myrna!

Lets face it ladies, planning a wedding is stressful. Finding the right gown, the right banquet hall, the right DJ...oh yeah, and the right man! All these questions. All these issues. What is proper etiquette? OY VEY! It can make a person nutzie. Well, help is here. I'm Myrna Fullastein and if you ask my husband, he'll tell you I'm the biggest "know-it-all" he's ever met. I have answers for anything and everything. Just ask me. Hey, this is going to be the first steps into the journey of your life. Lets have a few laughs along the way. Congrats and Mozeltoff! -Myrna- (Go to the bottom of this page to send in 'your' question for Myrna!)

Dear Myrna,

I recently got engaged and everything is great except for one pretty big detail. My fiance's family and mine are on opposite ends of the state. To make matters worse, neither of us even live in NY! I don't want to make our families come to us, but even if we have it in NY, I don't know which city we would have it in. How do I decide which location to use without upsetting one side or the other?

Split Apart (Syracuse, NY)

Bubbulah,

This is just the beginning of your problems with the in-laws and outlaws. Wait until the holidays! OIY! The stress of which family to spend the holidays with, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. My advice? Elope! This way, neither family has to go anywhere, but hint that each side can throw you a big reception when you visit them. I guarantee they will be willing to travel if you decide to have the wedding where you live.

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

My future mother in law wants me to join one of her “social” groups. I don’t care to become part of her pretentious “crowd” as we have so very different personalities, likes and dislikes. My fiance’ has always told me that this is why he loves me so much; that I am NOT like his mom and more down to earth and less materialistic. What should I do?

Signed,
Never A Follower (Fairport, NY)

Bubbulah,

I always say, “I never want to belong to a club that would take me as a member!”

You're marrying her son, not her, so the answer is clear. Otherwise, just tell her that you can't breathe with your nose stuck up that high the way she can so therefore you’d never be accepted in anyway!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

Im trying to lose weight and with the holidays here, it's so hard to be “good” Any advice?

Stacy (Rochester, NY)

Bubbulah,

Oh how I hate these questions! Let me tell you something. I went on a diet, swore off heavydrinking and heavy eating and in 14 days I had lost exactly 2 weeks!

Just eat and shuddup already! You’re the only one who will pay the price. The real question is, how much is it worth to you?

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

“Bob” and I are planning our wedding for next December. Since we have been dating, there has always been a pattern of him always getting sick at the holiday season lasting until spring. I'm worried because I don’t want to have him sniffling and sneezing down the aisle or worse, be coughing all through the ceremony and the vows. It would be so embarrassing, not to mention that it would take away from my fairytale day. Should we change the date to another month?

Jaquie (Penfield, NY)

Bubbulah,

Better ten times ill, than one time dead! I think he should change HIS mind, that’s what I think! And you should wipe the corners of your mouth as there is still some bull-poop there! Oiy!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

Joe and I have been married for 6 months and our sex life is non- existent. It was great before we got married. What happened? Nothing really has changed. He just doesn’t ever seem to be in the mood…..but, then again, neither do I. Did we make a mistake by getting married?

Anonymous in NY

Bubbulah,

The last time I had any action was when someone accidentally pushed their shopping cart into my tukus at the grocery store!

You didn’t make a mistake by getting married. My Murray & I both had a great sex life before we were married. Then we met each other and it ended. But, the love is there which is all that matters.

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

My daughter is getting married in May and plans a catered barbecue reception at a state park. We cannot figure out what kind of music to have for this kind of reception. We expect about 70 people and the reception will be in a lodge we're renting. The wedding is at 11 am so we'll have an early afternoon reception.

Thank you,
Helen

Bubbulah,

Your asking the wrong person. To me this is a "picnic". I don't "do" anything "nature" as it's too risky for my taste. The weather can be a bigger bitch than an in-law! Also providing music for anything under 100 people can be sufficiently accomplished with a good boom box. The expense of a DJ or a band is a frivolous one for such a small gathering. I would take a look at the guest list and find CD's to match their personalities and go from there.

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I found this link while helping my daughter look for wedding ideas. Although I am the father of the bride, and this column is for young soon to be united couples, I found some of your advice very colorful and highly amusing. I thought I'd ask you a question about my own situation to seek your wisdom. I married 28 years ago, and I watched my wife change from a loving, caring partner, into someone who I don't know anymore. Seems like no matter what we have, do or inherit, she is miserable all the time and carries a chip on her shoulder about everything. She has always cared for our kids, the house and has always worked full time, but is definitely not the same person I once knew and in all honesty, is just unbearable to have around as you never know what's going to spew out of her at any moment! The mental and emotional abuse has become overwhelming and after all these years of tolerating this, I am at my wits end. Also, I'm fearful that this will happen with my daughter after she is married. Any advice?

Anonymous in PA

Bubbulah,

A joke comes to mind...

One Sunday morning, Satan walked into a church and sat himself up front of the congregation next to an old man during prayer. While everyone else was screaming and running out the back, the old man sat calmly and waited. Satan looked at him and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The old man replied, "Sure do." Satan, getting angry, says, "Aren't you afraid of me?" The old man replied, "Not a bit." "Don't you realize I can make you miserable and keep you in agony through eternity?" exclaims Satan. "Yes, I do," said the old guy calmly. Now, more than aggravated, Satan asks, "And you're still not afraid of me?" The old geezer smiles and says, "Nope, I'm used to it. I've been married to your sister for 58 years!"

Your daughter is her own person, not a clone of your wife, so don't worry about her. Besides, let her future husband deal with it if she does get a bit "mashoogie" over time.

As for you, I would simply just sit her down and ask what's eating her? If it's nothing obvious, seek professional counseling. I'm a professional "budinski", and, believe it or not, some things I can't fix with even MY great wisdom. They don't call me the "Opinionator" for nothing!

Quick fix: JEWELRY!!! Always works for me!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I want to lose weight for my wedding this fall. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Fat Chance (Clifton Springs, NY)

Bubbulah,

Yes...STOP EATING!   Next...

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

My fiance and I are planning our wedding, but we would like it to be a fairly formal event later in the day and would rather it be adults only. Not that we don't like children, we just don't want a screaming toddler to interrupt everything. My family doesn't have any small children anymore, but his family is throwing a fit because they have to find sitters for the children. Some have even threatened not to come and I don't know what to do. How do we handle this without alienating his family?

Signed,
No Children Please (Phelps, NY)

Bubbulah,

Can a toddler do any worse to interrupt than just simple bad luck and timing can't? Unless the child is spawned from the devil himself, most children behave they way they have been taught by the PARENTS! So why are the parents still being invited if I assumed they are the unruly root!? Let's face it, being a guest at a wedding can be very costly overall, so to impose your child infested friends with having to pay for a sitter may be asking too much! It's your right to do what you want for you special day, but don't expect everyone else to agree with you. Life's a 2-way street! Some parents enjoy having their kids with them as it represents the family as a whole. Some parents will jump at the opportunity to have a night out away from the little monsters! If you give them a choice, you may be able to keep the peace. If you're going to stick to your guns, then don't expect fanfare from anyone feeling put out or insulted. I assume you don't have any children yet? Think of how you'd feel in their shoes. Besides, someday your kids may not invite you to their wedding as they may have a "no seniors" request. Try a different form of exercise instead of throwing all these insults around!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

My 'significant other' is the love of my life. We've both been married/divorced and been in and out of other relationships...but never anything like what we share. Only problem (?) is that he is 17 yrs. my junior. He says age doesn't matter but I feel funny when we're out together and people think we're mother and son. What do you think?

BJ (Clifton Springs, NY)

Grammala,

You want to know what I think? I think you should have better things to worry about! If he was suddenly disfigured would you be embarrassed of him? Would you be worried of what 'everybody else' thinks? Who is this 'everybody else' person? That's as bad as the "that's what 'they' say" comment. Who exactly is "they".

Think about this the next time you're out and feel 'funny' if 'everybody' is looking at your 'son'...maybe they are looking at you and not him! The support hose hurt when its on the other leg, doesn't it?

If he doesn't have a problem with it, then neither should you and to hell what anybody else thinks. Maybe they are just jealous and wish they had the happiness you two share. Get over it and enjoy each other now that you found each other.

Besides, I think it's great 'cuz when they're young you can still train 'em!

:-)

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

Is it ok for my mom to wear black to my wedding?  She loves the "formal" look and so do I but my mother-in-law to be says its improper.  What do you think?

Black is Beautiful (Buffalo, NY)

Bubbulah,

Weddings & funerals...same difference in some circumstances!  So why is black ok for one and not the other? I say, tell Mammala it's very Vogue to wear black.  It fits in everywhere.  Tell future Mammala in law to step away from the pastel section at Walmart and pick up a fashion magazine or two!  Anything goes these days and black is very 'safe' if tastefully done.  I do draw the line at wearing a full length black sequined ball gown with the boobs and the butt cheeks cut out...that's definitely one for a funeral.

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

My friend was married last year and when I asked her advice about where to shop for a gown she said that I had to buy a gown at a place in a big city or it would be a fake.  Are the more expensive gowns in the bigger cities, like New York or L.A., better because they are more expensive or can I find something locally of good quality that wont break my bank?

Tina (Manchester, NY)

Bubbulah,

All the gowns we sell can be marked up to whatever level of price you want pay to make it more authentic...oiy!

What kind of schmagegee is your friend telling you!?  Gowns are bought from designer representatives and marked up according to location and overhead expenses.  You pay more if you buy in a larger city because it costs more to sell in a larger city.  The designer is still the same designer whether you buy in Manhattan or Clifton Springs, but the price can vary greatly!  You want big city, you pay big city!  By the time you add up the travel, the lodging, the food and the gown price...you could have had 2 receptions!  Shop smart and stay local.  But if it makes you feel better, I will mark up anything you want to make you happy!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

What do I do with my gown after the wedding?

Brooke (Phelps, NY)

Bubbulah,

BURN IT!  You'll want a different one for the next wedding!

C'mon! Use your matza!  Did you want to wear your mom's gown? Probably not, so chances are if you have a daughter or future daughter-in-law they are not going to want a 25 year old (or more) dress.  Ladies have come a long way and we all want to be individuals. So, what to do?  Hmmm, how about having it made into a christening blanket and dress for the little Bubbulah's that may come along?  Now you have an 'heirloom' to pass down.  How about a pillow for you, the Mammala's and the wedding party to keep as a sachet?  How about donating it to a charity so someone who can't afford a new gown can have the wedding of her (or his..hey, ya' never know) dreams?  Sell it.  Rent it.  Anything but curtains!  I still have never seen anyone with white lace and satin curtains hanging in their home!  DON'T LISTEN TO GRANDMA...ESPECIALLY IF SHE'S ITALIAN!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I am in a wedding this fall and have spent a ton of money in preparation for the event. I was well aware of the costs when I agreed to be part of the wedding party, but now after all the money I already shelled out, the bride decided to change her mind on the style of bridesmaids gowns and expects us all to buy the new style. First of all, the new gowns are $60.00 more than the original gowns and the bridal salons policy is no refunds on special order gowns, leaving us all with having to either purchase the original gowns or loose our deposits totally with nothing to show for it! The bride has not offered to pay the additional costs nor reimburse any of us for the money we loose from the original purchase. She says as the bride she should get what she wants for her big day and if we were her friends, we should understand. She also says that she is getting physically sick over all the fighting and is trying to make us feel bad by telling us she is at the doctors 3 times a week because she is so stressed over this. Are we being unreasonable? Is what she says true about the bride having it all her way?

Cheryl L. (Shortsville , NY)

Bubbulah,

So, the bride has changed her mind? What did she do with the diaper?

OY VEY! This is the worst thing to do when planning a wedding and a quick way to lose friends. Although the bride should get some special attention on her big day, she doesn't have to act like a giant black hole of need! If she is your friend, she would understand the strain she is putting you through, yet if she really wants her way, she should pay for all the changes. Sounds like she is spoiled and has always gotten her way in the past. My advice, tell her to get a new bridal party! Maybe she can get the staff from the doctors off to oblige since she is getting to know them so well. Despite what they may be telling her, there is no vaccine against stupidity!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I love your advice! Sometimes its cruel, but oh so true! I hope you can help me.

My soon to be sister-in-law has just had breast implants. She looks great and knows it and makes sure that everyone else knows it too! She flaunts them everywhere and has made several comments on how all eyes will be on her at the wedding as the dress she is wearing is a knockout! I haven't seen it yet, but based on how she dresses normally, I'm dreading the thought! She says she is comfortable with her body and she doesn't care if people talk about her as long as she is comfortable. I don't want to ask her not to attend...but can I suggest that she dress appropriate as to not make a spectacle of herself?

Tammy C. (Macedon, NY)

Bubbulah,

Take her side! Ask her to slip into something even more comfortable...like a coma!

If she has already verbalized or even insinuated that she is going to upstage you, then un-invite her! Not that you have anything to worry about as I always tell all my Bubbies, the bride is always the main show. But, you don't need the aggravation of a "show girl" embarrassing herself and the rest of the family by showing off the jugs!

Keep in mind, those bodacious tah-tah's will be heading south one day and trust me, trying to find a "cross your waist bra" is tough. I have a whole collection when she needs one!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

My honey is under the impression that he has a say in what kind of wedding dress I wear on our big day. Everyone else says "NO WAY!!!" This is an argument waiting to happen, can you please offer your advice on the matter.

Signed,
BooBooKitty (Penn Yan, NY)

Bubbulah,

Control me now, control me later! That's what I always say! Think about that one before stepping down that aisle.

Traditionally, NO ONE except for you, Mama, your maid of honor and your maids should even know what your dress looks like until you make the grand entrance. But who follows traditions these days? 95% of the girls who walk down the aisle shouldn't be wearing white, if ya know what mean!

I let my Murray give his opinion, and thankfully it was something I liked and wanted to wear anyway, but, being the most wonderful husband anyone could have, he told me to get whatever I liked as all that mattered was that he was marrying me. (I wanted gold lame', but he did put his foot down on that one.)

Is he going to dress you everyday, or this a one shot thing?

Hmmmmm?

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

My boyfriend asked me to marry him last night, but I'm afraid to tell my parents we are engaged because they don't really care for him too much. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Brandi (Georgetown, IL)

Bubbulah,
Dump em'! Your parents have known you longer and they know better. Lots of guys out there, but you only have one set of parents, and giving them credit in advance...they probably see the things about him that you don't see that will be bad for you in the future. Trust me...been there.

Someday, you'll be in their shoes...what would you do? Besides, if he's a good guy, he'll respect their wishes and try to prove to them that he is worthy of their little girl. Think about it. Do you want to really be with a person who tries to make you turn on the folks who cared for you your entire life?

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

When Stan and I were dating, we went out to eat all the time.  I am not the best cook, nor do I enjoy being in the kitchen at all!  Now that we are married he wants to stay in more and have more meals at home because he says it saves us money.  Why is he suddenly opposed to dining out?  Should I learn how to cook or should I stand my ground?  We also have 2 kids and they like to eat out at their friends house all the time, so why not dine out if its only the 2 of us?

Signed,
Maura (Ft. Lauderdale, FL)

Bubbulah,

My mother was not a cook either!  The remarkable thing about her is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers.  The original meal has never been found! 

First, judging from the "I'm a high maintenance babe" in the tone of your letter,  your husband is still probably paying off the wedding expenses!  If your that high maintenance that you need to be "fed" I suggest you get to know your kids friends and their parents better.  Maybe you'll get invited over for a free meal too!  Honey, your kids prefer to go to other peoples homes because YOU don't make a family meal and over there, they feel like family.  Learn to cook and compromise with your husband.  He cooks the dish, you set up the table outside, your both happy!  The money you save from going to a restaurant will pay for cooking lessons and save your family!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

Our in laws are driving us crazy! Both sets of grandparents are spoiling the kids rotten and my husband and I have lost control.  Now with the holidays approaching, the grandparents want to take the kids to Disney...without us! We said NO WAY and of course the tension between us and the kids, and the grandparents is as thick as mud!  Are we wrong for putting our foot down?  How dare they want to steal our kids away at the holidays and not include us!?  HELP!

Signed,
Looking for Bad Nursing Homes (Auburn, NY)

Bubbulah,

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy!  Listen to yourself!  Your just all "mashooganed" because they didn't invite you! Have you offered to go along and pay your own way?  I'm guessing not.  Also, stealing is a harsh word to use in this situation.  Perhaps they want to spend the quality time as a unit as that studies show that seniors lives are quite shorter than their kids.at least based on the averages.  Details are sketchy, but if your kids are little, let them have some fun, providing the grandparents are responsible and still spry enough to handle them, and if the kids are older...couldn't you use the rest?  Do what you want, but if it were me, I'd be planning on a quiet house for the holidays and thinking of a place to hang the mistletoe on my Murray!

-Myrna 

Dear Myrna,

My fiancé and I are planning to get married at the top of the Empire State Building next Spring.  He doesn't know this but, I am terrified of elevators and heights!  He has gone to so much trouble to get the approval for this and to make all the arrangements, that I don't have the heart to tell him I cant do it!  He has always dreamed of marrying the love of his life atop this structure and I will surely disappoint him.  How do I tell him the truth without ruining his dream?

Signed,
Janie (Albany, NY)

Bubbulah,

My grandmother used to say "if you die in an elevator, make sure you push the 'up' button"!  Anyway, seems to me the real problem is that you two kids don't know a hoot about each other!  You must have met just yesterday if he doesn't know these details about you by now.  Listen, Bubbie, you better tell him now and get some help for your phobia or run the risk of blowing the whole relationship because of all the secrets.   I'm sure he will understand your fears if you're honest, and he may surprise you and help you get the help you need to get through it.  If all else fails, get married in the lobby of the building.  I been there, and they have a nice gift shop!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

Bob and I are getting married soon and all we seem to be doing is arguing over everything!  He says I'm demanding and I say he's just lazy!  We do love each other very much but all the stress is tearing us apart.  Any advice for a soon to be married couple of "lightweights"?

Signed,
Tina (Utica, NY)

Bubbulah,

My Murray and I have a credo which we live by:
Never go to bed mad! Stay up and fight! 

All who are soon to be married go through this stage.  It's called the wedding jitters, or as I like to call it "there's dark at the end of the tunnel"  Good thing is, when ya' get to the end, there is a switch that lights up the path again.  Only you two can turn it on.  Scream, yell, get it all out of your systems now.  You won't have time  do it once your married.  Also remember the "making up" after the fights are the best part.  Why do you think Italian/Jewish families are so large?  We sound like we're yelling at each other, even when we're not!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I just started my own business 6 months ago and its not going as well as I planned.  I am ready to toss in the towel!  My husband is very supportive and tells me to hang in there, but, I cant help worrying all the time and its causing a strain on my marriage.  We are financially ok, for the moment, but, I want my business to do better, quicker.  What should I do? 

Signed,
Kathy (Syracuse, NY)

Bubbulah,

Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today?  He'd come down from the mountains with the Ten Commandments and spend the next 5 years trying to get them published!  A new business takes time to grow.  Give it the time and attention it needs and hopefully you should see a change in another year or so.  I don't know of any business that becomes a success overnight.  If your family is behind you, then you're a success already!

-Myrna 

Dear Myrna,

When you get married should you distance yourself from your friends? Also, why do friends make it difficult to remain friends. Men should never get in the way of friendship, right?

Signed,
Big Red (Niagara Falls)

Bubbulah,

Your true friends are the people you don't have to see or talk to on a regular basis, but are those you can count on when you really need them!

My instincts tell me you're single and have no life. The world is blessed with new people everyday! Take a chance on meeting some of them and stop your whining! If all else fails, eat a cheesecake...it'll fill the friendship void! 

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

The holidays have suddenly become a nightmare!   My future in-laws want my fiancé and I to go to their home and my parents want us to spend the day at their home.  There is so much tension between the 2 families over this!  What do we do? Who's parents get "holiday preference?"  We don't want to go to either!

Signed,
Help Me! (Geneva, NY)

Bubbulah,

As I always say, happiness is having a big, warm, loving, caring, close knit family...IN ANOTHER STATE!

Put your holiday hoofs down now or you'll be going through this until the divorce, if you get my drift!  Tell both families that you want to start your own traditions as a couple and you can visit them any other time.  I got news for you, dah-ling...wait until you have kids.  OIY!  They can turn even the sweetest of grandparents into the Hatfields and McCoys.  Also remember that someday, you'll be putting YOUR kids through the same aggravation!  My advice for that?  Get cats!

-Myrna

---

Dear Myrna,

Now that our wedding has passed, my husband and I still cant seem to find the time to enjoy our new life together!  We both work, we have a child and we are both involved in community projects.  We never can get to the gym and sometimes we cant even shower for 2 days!  Are we doing something wrong?

Signed,
Babs (Clifton Springs, NY)

Bubbulah,

Congratulations! You've become your parents! Happily-ever-after is what you make of it. Enjoy what little time you do have and remember that you have more than most. As for exercising, forget it! The only exercise my Murray and I get is throwing wise cracks at each other! 

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I'm 54 and getting married for the first time. Am I too old to do a traditional wedding and wear a white dress?

Signed,
JoAnne (Geneva, NY)

Bubbulah,

To me, old age is ALWAYS fifteen years older than I am! Do whatever you want! It's YOUR day and YOUR dream!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I'm getting married soon and I'm scared that after we're married, we will get bored. I love my fiance', but I can see things changing already. HELP!

Signed,
Debbie (Niagara Falls, NY)

Bubbulah,

Change happens all the time! Get used to it! Your feelings about things in general will change for the rest of your life, especially as you get older. I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex! In fact, we just had a mirror put over our kitchen table! Change is not always as bad as you think!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I am getting married next September and I was wondering if it would be appropriate to ask our guests not to wear red. Am I wrong for wanting the guests to follow a small 'dress code'?

Signed,
'No Red Please' (Rochester, NY)

Bubbulah,

You've got bigger things to worry about than a guest wearing red. For example, one less gift if they get offended and don't show at all.  Relax, and focus on the big picture.  YOU'RE the only one everyone is going to be looking at anyway.  Better red than none!

-Myrna

My dad's new young, attractive and very catty wife bought the same fabulous dress for my wedding day as my mom did. My mom looks fantastic in this dress and I really want her to feel special as the mother of the bride. I asked my new "evil step mom" to return hers and she said, "NO WAY!" My mom offered to return hers to eliminate the problem. I feel so bad! What should I do?

Signed,
Bitter (Albany, NY)

Bubbulah,

My advice is, tell Mammala to pull a "Myrna's Revenge"...have her wear HER dress the night BEFORE at the rehearsal dinner! Your evil step mom will feel like a schmuck!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

How soon after I'm engaged, should I buy my gown?

Signed,
Torre' (Phelps, NY)

Bubbulah,

WHAT?!  You mean to tell me you don't already have one?  I bought my gown when I hit puberty!  It's never TOO soon!

Since you're behind, I will say I think you're safe anywhere between 6 to 8 months before the big day with most reputable Bridal Shops.  But the sooner, the better. Tell your fiance' that once you buy your gown, it's a definite deal!  So get to stepping!

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

What's your advice to a successful marriage?

Sincerely,
Sarah (Clifton Springs, NY)

Bubbulah!

My Murray is the love of my life! We sleep in separate rooms, we have meals apart, we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together!

He also happens to be my best friend...and that's the root of all our evils.

-Myrna

Dear Myrna,

I just got engaged, but I'm confused. How do you know when you're in love?

Signed,
'Help!' (Niagara Falls, NY)

Bubbulah,

Well, they say "love is the answer", but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions! 

My advice?  Look to find what you have in common and what you don't.  Does this person make your toes curl when you see him/her, or do you get the urge to drink a bottle of Pepto?  I wish I had the right answer, but keep up the "questions". Maybe the answer is already there.

-Myrna